Monday, July 25, 2005
King Tut's Liver Makes Bold Freedom Move
LOS ANGELES, CA - Dodging a hail of Egyptian security forces' gunfire, several items of the King Tut exhibit made a dash for freedom.
A highly placed official within the State Department said that up to fourteen pieces are seeking asylum, as a direct response to the largest loss of life due to terrorist attack, in Egypt's history. The official refused to categorize the nature of the pieces seeking humanitarian asylum, but did offer that the number was not subtantial given the size of the current exhibit. The official went on to say that no decision has been made whether the requests will be honored, or whether the pieces will be repatriated.
He refused to confirm, or deny, whether any injury had befallen any of the escapees, as a result of the gunfire. However, informed sources said a cadre of curators from as far away as New York and Chicago had been called in to begin restoration efforts.
He, further, gave no hint elaborating on the rumor that at least two pieces were refusing asylum, claiming to be unwitting hostages of the rest.
Several items, wishing to remain anonymous, fearing for associations still within the L.A. Museum of Natural History, and back at home, in Egypt, refused to talk to reporters. However, a canopic jar, used to store the liver of the boy-pharaoh, was willing to speak on the record. It said, "we are committed to Amun-Re, the one true God. For that reason, alone, we are at risk of harm from these johnny-come-lately heretics, who call themselves, Muslins, and claim Mallah is the only god." (sic).
Jar claims that Mallah lost big time in a three way race on the mother planet of the known universe, Nibiru, for the Supreme God position among himself, Amun-Re, and a third candidate, Yahweh.
He went on to say that despite garnering more votes absolutely in the popular canvas, Yahweh lost the contest because the Voting University, the actual decision making body, cast more votes for Amun-Re by one vote. Apparently, many members of the University were annoyed that Yahweh had help at the polls from his son, and a shadowy accomplice, known only as, "The Spirit".
Nevertheless, Jar reported as background, Amun-Re in a gesture of unity appointed, Yahweh, as Vice-Regent, Supreme Deity of Gaia, (Earth)- the very post Mallah demanded was rightfully his as traditional consolation appointment. It is generally accepted, according to several members of the defecting King Tut items, that Amun-Re's strong opposition to Mallah was based on the latter's stance that the charging of interest on funds loaned is immoral. A concept, of course, not held favorably by the banking based Amun-Re dynasty.
Furious at that turn of events, Mallah, changed his name to Allah (it focus grouped higher), then swore a blood oath that he, and his followers, would never rest until he was elevated to his proper status on (Earth) and recognized as the only Supreme God.
Meanwhile, in New York City, Mayor Blumberg, cautiously monitoring the situation was understood to be in consultation with the New York Museum of Natural History probing if there is room for the items there.
"I heard", the Mayor is quoted, "that about a dozen items, ranging in size from a pair of earrings which adorned King Tutanhkamun at his wedding, to a jewel encrusted tureen buried with him to hold sacred crocadile soup in the afterlife, to a twelve foot long, nine foot high, auxillary sacarphagus made the daring escape."
He refused to speculate whether a dish ran away with a spoon, or whether, one, or both of them, were the rumored hostages.
"Whatever, the volume", televised news broadcast him stating, " I know there must be room in Natural History to provide a safe harbor for all the items mentioned."
The Egyptian Minister of Antiquities, Zahwi Hawas, uncharacteristically not hiding his anger, asserted, "We understand the source of the senile, paranoid delusions of these [pieces] After all, they're 3000 years old."
Passionately, he defended the security forces use of gunfire trying to prevent the escapes. "We cannot let that tragic fact cause Egypt to agree to part with portions of its' national treasures. Anything less would be unacceptable."
Expressing hope that this episode would not evolve into an international incident placing a wedge between U.S. and Egyptian co-operation in the war on terror, he cautioned, "We expect that the U.S. government, as an ally in the global war against terrorism, will understand our position and repatriate our errant items immediately."
The, King Tutanhkamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs, exhibit, and the remaining pieces, under stepped up guard, can be seen at the L.A. Museum of Natural History, through September 15, 2005.
A highly placed official within the State Department said that up to fourteen pieces are seeking asylum, as a direct response to the largest loss of life due to terrorist attack, in Egypt's history. The official refused to categorize the nature of the pieces seeking humanitarian asylum, but did offer that the number was not subtantial given the size of the current exhibit. The official went on to say that no decision has been made whether the requests will be honored, or whether the pieces will be repatriated.
He refused to confirm, or deny, whether any injury had befallen any of the escapees, as a result of the gunfire. However, informed sources said a cadre of curators from as far away as New York and Chicago had been called in to begin restoration efforts.
He, further, gave no hint elaborating on the rumor that at least two pieces were refusing asylum, claiming to be unwitting hostages of the rest.
Several items, wishing to remain anonymous, fearing for associations still within the L.A. Museum of Natural History, and back at home, in Egypt, refused to talk to reporters. However, a canopic jar, used to store the liver of the boy-pharaoh, was willing to speak on the record. It said, "we are committed to Amun-Re, the one true God. For that reason, alone, we are at risk of harm from these johnny-come-lately heretics, who call themselves, Muslins, and claim Mallah is the only god." (sic).
Jar claims that Mallah lost big time in a three way race on the mother planet of the known universe, Nibiru, for the Supreme God position among himself, Amun-Re, and a third candidate, Yahweh.
He went on to say that despite garnering more votes absolutely in the popular canvas, Yahweh lost the contest because the Voting University, the actual decision making body, cast more votes for Amun-Re by one vote. Apparently, many members of the University were annoyed that Yahweh had help at the polls from his son, and a shadowy accomplice, known only as, "The Spirit".
Nevertheless, Jar reported as background, Amun-Re in a gesture of unity appointed, Yahweh, as Vice-Regent, Supreme Deity of Gaia, (Earth)- the very post Mallah demanded was rightfully his as traditional consolation appointment. It is generally accepted, according to several members of the defecting King Tut items, that Amun-Re's strong opposition to Mallah was based on the latter's stance that the charging of interest on funds loaned is immoral. A concept, of course, not held favorably by the banking based Amun-Re dynasty.
Furious at that turn of events, Mallah, changed his name to Allah (it focus grouped higher), then swore a blood oath that he, and his followers, would never rest until he was elevated to his proper status on (Earth) and recognized as the only Supreme God.
Meanwhile, in New York City, Mayor Blumberg, cautiously monitoring the situation was understood to be in consultation with the New York Museum of Natural History probing if there is room for the items there.
"I heard", the Mayor is quoted, "that about a dozen items, ranging in size from a pair of earrings which adorned King Tutanhkamun at his wedding, to a jewel encrusted tureen buried with him to hold sacred crocadile soup in the afterlife, to a twelve foot long, nine foot high, auxillary sacarphagus made the daring escape."
He refused to speculate whether a dish ran away with a spoon, or whether, one, or both of them, were the rumored hostages.
"Whatever, the volume", televised news broadcast him stating, " I know there must be room in Natural History to provide a safe harbor for all the items mentioned."
The Egyptian Minister of Antiquities, Zahwi Hawas, uncharacteristically not hiding his anger, asserted, "We understand the source of the senile, paranoid delusions of these [pieces] After all, they're 3000 years old."
Passionately, he defended the security forces use of gunfire trying to prevent the escapes. "We cannot let that tragic fact cause Egypt to agree to part with portions of its' national treasures. Anything less would be unacceptable."
Expressing hope that this episode would not evolve into an international incident placing a wedge between U.S. and Egyptian co-operation in the war on terror, he cautioned, "We expect that the U.S. government, as an ally in the global war against terrorism, will understand our position and repatriate our errant items immediately."
The, King Tutanhkamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs, exhibit, and the remaining pieces, under stepped up guard, can be seen at the L.A. Museum of Natural History, through September 15, 2005.
# posted by fablespinners @ 1:45 AM 
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